is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
