if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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