So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize