fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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