Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize