Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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