is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
