He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
