i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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