he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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