i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
