listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
