Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
