So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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