I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
