Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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