im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
