Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
