so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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