lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
