Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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