I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
