What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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