Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
