Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
