Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
