I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
50% drunk capacity currently
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
