I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
