i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
