ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
