Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
