is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
