idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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