My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
