HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
