My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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