we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
