He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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