took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i now understand why vodka
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
