Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
