I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
