I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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