Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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