It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
