the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
