God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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