Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
