Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize