Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
