i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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