did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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