So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
