we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
