i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
