thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
