We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
