All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
