Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
