Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
